Sex and marriage is a conversation piece in itself. Sex and multiple
sclerosis opens up a whole new can of worms. Now we are talking about function,
sensation and mental motivation.
Being that I am in my forties, prime menopausal time and without a uterus
for the past five years due to a hysterectomy, one would conclude that those
factors alone would lead to an absentee sex drive. Then add on the
antidepressants , who's known side effects are just that and it seems like a
losing battle. But its not. And when it comes to matters of intimacy, which I
feel are important in a strong marriage, its important to not give up, although
it seems to be the easier route.
Let me point out immediately, that there are far and few days that I ever
feel "horny", as my husband would put it. But women and men operate on a
different sexual level. In my own belief and personal experience, sex for a
women starts in her brain, then travels to her vagina. Perhaps this is true for
an older man with compromised sensations in his crotch as well. Even without
MS, as we age our neurons aren't firing as strongly as we would like. Also, let
me add that there hasn't been a female version of viagra made available as of
yet.
So there are two issues here that need to be addressed- the physical crotch
area and the mind.
Lets start with the physical, because we are limited to some degree with
options. SO you have a vagina or penis, but unless that is pointed out to you,
it goes unnoticed physically. You need to find a counteractive solution. What
will make you "feel" your genitalia once again? They have come out with all
types of sex creme's that supposedly work as a stimulant to those areas....never
worked for me, as a matter of fact , one of the last ones which I tried actually
gave me irritation for several days to follow.
What has worked for me as a female? Wellbutrin, or anything with a
stimulant effect such as provigil. I recall back in my days of college snorting
cocaine for finals and the stimulant effect made me very susceptible to
"horniness". I'm not proud to admit that I did that, but it was over two
decades ago as an invincible youth. But the point being made that stimulants
that ARE PRESCRIBED by your doctor may have the same effect on your sexuality
for you as they did for me. As a matter of fact wellbutrin came as a suggestion
from my doctor to combat the sexual side effects of the luvox that I take for
anxiety attacks. But here's the downfall for me regarding stimulants. Aside
from having a heightened sexual drive, I can NOT stand the way I feel on them.
Sex only lasts a short time- maybe minutes in my own encounters but the remains
of the stimulant effect lasts an entire 24 hour period. There is nothing worse
for me then to feel like my mind is racing and I've just consumed 16 cups of
coffee. And that's probably the amount of coffee you would need to get the same
effect. However, others handle stimulants quite well. Its a personal experience
type of scenario. Wellbutrin also may work differently on each indivisual, as
it is also an antidepressant, one known for those side effects. Aderol also can
have the same benefits as reported to me by two friends with Attention deficit
disorder. Vulnerably I would also like to add that marijuana in a very limited
use setting; such as two or three puffs totally re-introduces you to your
crotch. Its sort of like "HELLO-Remember me>"". Its magical, and the orgasm
is quite enhanced due to the thc properties. Because I suffer from panic attacks
occasionally I have learned the hard way that 3 tokes is sufficient and don't
recommend anymore. Pot enhances any feeling - good or bad.
Mentally, your current state of mind is important - First, I would like to
express that since switching to tecfidera, bg-12 i do feel that there is less
stress in my MS world due to the drugs mildness in side effects. A clearing of
the mind is also important, sort of like a meditation, leaving it open and less
diluted from the immediate concerns of everyday living. Once your mind is at
ease you can train yourself to divulge in fantasy and if you are even braver
turn those fantasies into realities, You see , sex just like any other activity
or event needs to be one-upped to keep interest. Your not programmed to look
forward to repetition. Think back to the days where you went to first base and
reminiscing the following few days led to arousal. Then you went to third base
and took second base for granted, the excitement was gone. Home run, and there
was no going backwards. Now look where you are today- progression is needed.
Its human nature and once again this is where your imagination comes to play- no
guilt; just gust. So pull out those handcuffs, buy yourself a magic wand-the
BEST vibrator on the market, learn to talk fetish tongue, dress sexy and get
crazy. You only have one life and one genitalia- live it up.
